Snatch (2000)
Dennis Farina: Cousin Avi
Photos
Quotes
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Avi : Should I call you Bullet? Tooth?
Bullet Tooth Tony : You can call me Susan if it makes you happy.
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Bullet Tooth Tony : A bookie's got blagged last night.
Avi : Blagged? Speak English to me, Tony. I thought this country spawned the fucking language, and so far nobody seems to speak it.
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Avi : You got a toothbrush? We're going to London. Do you hear that, Doug? I'm coming to London.
[Avi arrives in London]
Doug the Head : Avi!
Avi : Shut up and sit down, you big, bald fuck. I don't like leaving my own country, Doug, and I especially don't like leaving it for anything less then warm sandy beaches, and cocktails with little straw hats.
Doug the Head : We've got sandy beaches...
Avi : So? Who the fuck wants to see 'em? I hope you appreciate the concern I have for my friend Franky, Doug. I'm gonna find him, and you're gonna help me find him, and we're gonna start at that fight.
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Bullet Tooth Tony : Boris the Blade? As in Boris the Bullet-Dodger?
Avi : Why do they call him the Bullet-Dodger?
Bullet Tooth Tony : 'Cause he dodges bullets, Avi.
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Customs official : Anything to declare?
Avi : Yeah. Don't go to England.
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Avi : I'm gettin' heartburn. Tony, do something terrible.
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Avi : Tony.
Bullet Tooth Tony : What?
Avi : Look in the dog.
Bullet Tooth Tony : What do you mean "look in the dog?"
Avi : I mean open him up.
Bullet Tooth Tony : It's not as if it's a tin of baked beans! What do you mean "open him up"?
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[Avi, Tony, and Rosebud watch Boris on the video monitor]
Bullet Tooth Tony : This guy's a handful.
Rosebud : I hate Russians. I'll take care of him.
Bullet Tooth Tony : He's all yours, Rosebud me old son.
Rosebud : Not a problem.
[Cut to a few minutes later, inside Tony's Jaguar. All three of them are bruised, bloody, and shouting, but Rosebud is seriously hurt]
Rosebud : You gotta get me to a doctor! Shoot that fuck, then get me to a doctor!
Avi : Yeah, yeah, but first the stone, Rosie. First the stone and then I'm gonna get you to a doctor, and not just any doctor, boychik, I'm gonna find you a nice Jewish doctor.
[at Tony]
Avi : Find my friend a nice Jewish doctor!
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Doug the Head : Avi, I'm not telepathic.
Cousin Avi : Well you're plenty fucking stupid, I'll give you that. Do you know why they call him Franky "Four Fingers" Doug? Because he makes stupid bets with dangerous people, and when he doesn't pay up, they give him the chop, Doug. And I'm not talking about his fucking fore-skin either.
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Alex Denovitz : What about Tony?
[Cut back and forth between Doug's office and a younger Tony in Charlie's brothel]
Alex Denovitz : You know, Bullet Tooth Tony.
Avi : Who's Bullet Tooth...?
Charlie : Tony!
Bullet Tooth Tony : You silly fuck.
Doug the Head : He's a liability.
Alex Denovitz : He'll find you Moses and the burning bush, if you pay him to.
Charlie : [draws a gun] You are gonna die, Tony!
Alex Denovitz : He got shot six times, had the bullets molded into gold.
[Charlie shoots Tony twice in the chest]
Charlie : I shoot you, you go down!
Susi Denovitz : He's got two in his teeth that Dad did for him. So he loves Dad.
[Charlie shoots Tony three more times]
Charlie : Why don't you fucking die!
Susi Denovitz : He's the best chance you got of finding Franky.
Avi : Six times?
[Charlie shoots Tony in the mouth]
Doug the Head : In one sitting.
[Tony, blood dripping from his mouth, draws a saber]
Bullet Tooth Tony : You're in trouble now!
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Avi : [in Doug's office while trying to find Boris] Russians.
[he chuckles]
Avi : Russians. I should've known. Anti-Semite, slippery Cossack sluts. What do you know about this goyim?
Bullet Tooth Tony : Ex-KGB cancer. He was a highly trained undercover agent. He'll be impossible to track down.
Doug the Head : [the phone rings and Doug picks it up] Yeah.
Susi Denovitz : Dad, there's a strange man down here who wants to sell us an 84-carat stone.
Doug the Head : Where does he come from?
Susi Denovitz : I don't know, it's hard to tell. He's got a thick Russian accent.
[cut to a TV monitor as Boris stares suspiciously into the camera]
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Cousin Avi : Is there gambling involved?
Doug the Head : It's a boxing match, Avi, a boxing match.
Cousin Avi : Did he have a case with him?
Doug the Head : Yes, he had a case.
Cousin Avi : And this schmuck is gambling? You're talking about Franky "I've got a problem with gambling" fucking Four Fingers Doug.
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Bullet Tooth Tony : I want to know who blagged Brick-Top's bookies.
Mullet : Do me a favor, Ton!
Bullet Tooth Tony : I will do you a favor, Mullet. I'll not get out of this car and bash the living fuck out of you in front of all your girlfriends.
[Mullet hunkers down to the car window]
Mullet : Got to make it worth my while, mate. Jesus, Tony, you know that...
[Tony seizes his tie and rolls up the window, wedging Mullet's head in it]
Bullet Tooth Tony : Comfortable, Mullet? It seems sadly ironic that it's that tie that's got you into this pickle. Now you just take all the time you want.
[He starts the car forward]
Mullet : What the fuck are you doing, Ton?
Bullet Tooth Tony : I'm driving down the street with your head stuck in my window. What do you think I'm doing, you pen-ass?
Mullet : Slow down, Ton.
Bullet Tooth Tony : [sniffs] You been using dogshit for toothpaste, Mullet?
Mullet : Slow down, Ton! Slow down, Tony!
Bullet Tooth Tony : I don't think I'll slow down. I think I'll speed up. You can play some music if you like.
[He turns on the radio; Madonna's "Lucky Star" is playing]
Bullet Tooth Tony : Oh, I love this track.
Mullet : I think...
Bullet Tooth Tony : Yes, Mullet?
Mullet : I think it's two black guys, in a pawn shop on Smith street.
Bullet Tooth Tony : You better not be telling me porky pies.
Mullet : I'm fucking telling you, it's two black guys who work off a pawn shop in fucking Smith Street!
Avi : That's very effective, Tony. It's not too subtle, but effective.
[Tony accelerates and turns toward Smith Street]
Avi : Are we taking him with us?
[Tony rolls down the window, releasing Mullet's head and dumping him on the roadside]
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Avi : Tony, there is a man I'd like you to find.
Bullet Tooth Tony : Well, that depends on all the elements in the equation. How many are there?
Avi : Forty thousand.
Bullet Tooth Tony : Where was he last seen?
Doug the Head : At a bookie's.
Bullet Tooth Tony : A bookie's... pass us the blower, Susi.
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Avi : How do you wanna get rid of him?
Bullet Tooth Tony : Well, do you want to shoot him?
Avi : That's a little noisy, isn't it?
Bullet Tooth Tony : Well, do you want to stab him?
Avi : Well, that's a little cold-blooded, isn't it?
Bullet Tooth Tony : Do you want to kill him, or not?
