Say When! (1961–1965)

Art James: Self - Host

Quotes 

• [Art does a live commercial for Peter Pan peanut butter.] 

  Art James : [picking up a peanut butter jar and a kitchen knife]  And you know Peter Pan is made to stay good as gold, fresh and moist, any time at all, from the first big swoop off the top of the jar right down to the...

  [Art drops the knife in the jar. The bottom of the jar breaks and the knife falls to the floor.] 

  Art James : [trying not to laugh]  ...last... little bit... at the bottom. So for happy young faces... at all times... make sure you've got Peter Pan peanut butter on hand... in good times... all times.

• Art James : "My hair is falling out!" admitted the timid man to the chemist. "Can you suggest something to keep it in?" "Certainly! Here's a cardboard box."

• Art James : Definition of a rabbit farm: a hare-raising experience.

• Art James : Did you ever hear the story about the little Indian brave who was approached by his father the chief and the chief said, "Who was it that pushed over the teepee? I think it was you." And the little brave said, "No, it wasn't me." And the Indian chief says, "Remember the story of our great white father, George Washington? When George chopped down the cherry tree, his father said, 'If you tell the truth, you won't be punished.' That's what happened." And the little Indian brave said, "All right, I pushed the teepee over the cliff." So the chief hauls him up and gives him a whack on the head. And the little brave says, "But you said if I told the truth, that I wouldn't be punished like George Washington telling the truth about chopping down the cherry tree!" And the chief said, "Yes, but George Washington's father wasn't in the cherry tree when he chopped it down!"