- King Louis XIV: You think my affairs are empty...
- D'Artagnan: I think that it is possible for one man to love one woman all his life and be the better for it, yes.
- Porthos: [he puts the rope around his neck and prepares to jump] Farewell cruel world... farewell to useless Porthos.
- [jumps]
- Athos: [Aramis and Athos are watching the building from the outside] What was that?
- Aramis: It's all right; I sawed the beam.
- [the building promptly collapses, and Athos stares at Aramis in disbelief]
- Aramis: Well, I'm a genius, not an engineer!
- Aramis: Perhaps you should take his offer. We're dead anyway.
- Porthos: He's right, D'Artagnan.
- Phillippe: Wait. Bargain me to Louis for all your lives. You've done your best. Please let me go.
- D'Artagnan: No, I cannot do it. Even if I could give up my king, I could never give up my son.
- [they all look at him, thunderstruck]
- Phillippe: Your son?
- D'Artagnan: I loved your mother. I love her still. You are my son. I never knew you existed. And I never felt pride as a father... until this moment.
- [the Four Musketeers and Phillipe are trapped by riflemen at the other end of the hallway]
- Aramis: D'Artagnan... They're young Musketeers. They've been weaned on our legends. They revere us. It is an advantage.
- Porthos: Yes. Why don't we charge them?
- D'Artagnan: I trained these men. They will fight to the death. But if we must die - if WE must die - let it be like this.
- [He draws his sword and points it at the floor. Aramis, Porthos, and Athos, join their swords with his]
- Athos: One for all. All for one.
- Aramis: Sometimes there are more important things in life than a good pair of tits.
- Porthos: Really? If you can name me one thing that is more sublime than the feel of a plump, pink nipple between my lips, I'll build you a new cathedral.
- Aramis: Forgiveness...
- Porthos: Forgiveness...?
- [Porthos farts]
- Porthos: There... i am i forgiven? Come on... am i forgiven?
- [play fight ensures between them]
- King Louis XIV: I hear there was an incident at the Musketeers' gate, where a man came intent on killing me. Is it our policy now to let would-be assassins go free, d'Artagnan?
- D'Artagnan: He wished to kill his own pain. His son is dead. I can think of nothing worse.
- King Louis XIV: What about losing your king?
- D'Artagnan: That depends on the king.
- Athos: [to Phillippe] Yes, Raoul is my reason, but not in the way you think. Once I, once all of us believed in spending our lives in the service of something greater than ourselves. Aramis had his faith, Porthos his lust for life, D'Artagnan his devotion, and I had Raoul. But we all had a common dream. That one day we would finally be able to serve a king worthy of the throne. It is what we dreamt, what we bled for, and what we have spent a lifetime waiting to see. I taught Raoul to believe in that dream. And now my son is dead. So I am here to find out if his life was in vain. And the only one who can answer that question is you.
- King Louis XIV: Why has my own brother tried to do this to me?
- D'Artagnan: And look what you have done to him!
- D'Artagnan: Anne, to love you is treason against France. But not to love you is treason against my heart.
- Queen Anne: Then we will both die traitors, D'Artagnan.
- D'Artagnan: Anne, I know that to love you is a treason against France, but not to love you is a treason against my heart.
- Queen Anne: Then we will both die traitors, D'Artagnan.
- Athos: No, wait. With a king it is so.
- [meaning the way Philippe is holding the goblet]
- Athos: [he shows him, pinching the goblet between thumb and forefinger]
- Athos: Servants have touched the goblet of the King, therefor he will touch it as little as possible. Again.
- [Phillippe tries it and the goblet slips from his fingers, crashing onto his plate and spilling onto everything]
- Phillippe: I am sorry!
- Athos: No. No! Do not be sorry! There are no mistakes when you are the King! You must never apologize. The King cares for nothing and for no one.
- Phillippe: Is that the kind of king you wish me to be? Or do you say this to me because your son is dead?
- [Athos is silent, he shoves back from the table and turns away]
- Phillippe: Forgive me, I would never mean to disrespect...
- Athos: I am not... I am not angry with you. Do you understand? Good. Of course we wish you to be a good king. But first you must pass as Louis, and Louis is cold and cruel. The eyes of this King say that he cares for nothing at all but himself. You eyes ask too much. You shouldn't care about... about me... you shouldn't care...
- [his voice breaks]
- Athos: You mustn't ask about my son...
- [he leaves the room, weeping]
- King Louis XIV: Cowards! Twenty men run from four?
- Lt. Andre: The corridor nullifies our numbers, and nobody has the stomach to fight the captain!
- Porthos: [a naked Porthos has tried to hang himself but failed] Aramis! You sawed the beam! You knew I would I try to hang myself and you sawed the beam! Admit it. Admit it!
- Aramis: Of course I knew! And now that you've got the idea of killing yourself out of your head you can stop boring everyone and be useful for a change. And put some clothes on!
- Phillippe: Put this man away where no one will hear his insanity. Let him be fed by a deaf-mute but feed him well.
- Queen Anne: Aramis!
- Aramis: I have come to ask whether you believe that just as one lie can destroy a life, so one truth can make it whole again.
- Queen Anne: I have prayed every day for such a miracle.
- Athos: D'Artagnan, I have never known a finer man than you nor cared more for a friend, but if this king harms my son merely to take a lover, then this king will become my enemy. And so will any man who stands between that enemy and me.
- Aramis: When I discover the identity of this Jesuit rebel, I will kill both him and the man who told me.
- King Louis XIV: D'Artagnan, you will hunt down Porthos, Athos, and Aramis, and bring me their heads, or I will have yours. And as for you, my brother, back to the prison you will go, and into the mask you hate. Wear it 'til you love it! And die in it.
- Porthos: Stop praying and revel with me, Aramis! I need my spirits lifted. I'm old, I'm weak, my strength is gone.
- Aramis: Porthos! I'm praying.
- Porthos: I just said you're praying. Are you deaf, too? I know you're blind, because if you'd seen the tits that just walked out of here, you'd have tears in your eyes.
- Aramis: [narrating] The Man in the Iron Mask was never found. It was whispered among his jailers that he received a royal pardon and was taken to the country where he lived quietly, often visited by the Queen. The King known as Louis XIV brought his people food, prosperity and peace and is remembered as the greatest ruler in the history of his nation.
- [a rioting crowd throws rotten food at D'Artagnan; he draws his sword and slashes the fruit in mid-air, then skewers a tomato. The crowd is awed into silence. He bites the tomato, then grimaces and spits it out]
- D'Artagnan: You are right. It is rotten. I will speak to the King myself. You have my word.
- Christine: I have sinned against love and God for the sake of your mercy, which you would not have given without my sin. I will burn in Hell. So will you.
- King Louis XIV: No. No, no. No, my love. You will burn in Hell. I will not. For I am King - ordained by God!
- King Louis XIV: D'Artagnan, I am not angry with you. I knew you would lead me to them, and so you have. Lay down your sword and I will not punish you. I will let you retire in peace, and I will give your friends a swift execution, if you surrender NOW!
- Lt. Andre: Musketeers, SALUTE
- [they raise flags and draw swords into an arch]
- Musketiers: ALL FOR ONE, ONE FOR ALL
- D'Artagnan: Your people are most anxious to love you, but they are eating rotten food and sometimes none at all.
- Aramis: I have prayed every day for forgiveness. But now I realize that forgiveness must come from you before it can come from God.
- D'Artagnan: You are constantly surrounded by beautiful women. Do you love any of them?
- King Louis XIV: Quite frequently, actually.