- Ralph as an Adult: The Old Man was having the time of his life being miserable. It was what he did best.
- Randy Parker: I wanna go on the rides, I wanna go on the rides, I wanna go on the rides.
- The Old Man: You'll just get sick again.
- Randy Parker: I wanna get sick, I wanna get sick, I wanna get sick.
- Mrs. Parker: Ralphie, you are going to get it!
- Ralph 'Ralphie' Parker: What did I do?
- Mrs. Parker: Don't give me that! You tied Randy's feet together!
- Ralph 'Ralphie' Parker: Well, he put his turtle in my oatmeal!
- The Old Man: [to a traffic officer directing traffic at the exposition as the family drives past] Son of a bitch!