Photos
Quotes
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Felicia : [singing] A desert holiday, let's pack the drag away. You take the lunch and tea, I'll take the ecstasy. Fuck off you silly queer, I'm getting out of here. A desert holiday, hip hip hip hip hooray!
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Felicia : [to Tick, when the Spencer's see all three and then take off] Oh, for goodness sakes, look at yourself, Mitz. How many times do I have to tell you? Green is not your color!
[laughs hysterically]
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Felicia : Oh, for goodness sakes, get down off that crucifix. Someone needs the wood.
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Felicia : [to the video shop worker] Umm... , do you have "The Texas Chainsaw Mascara"?
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Felicia : [in sweet voice] Mummy, maybe a trip to the outback will help me get over this little... phase I'm going through. And you never know, I might meet some lovely country girl.
[in tough voice]
Felicia : I hereby christen this budget Barbie camper... Priscilla. Queen of the Desert!
[smashes champagne bottle against bus]
Bernadette : That's gotta be the understatement of the century.
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Felicia : [to Tick] Do you think I'm going to let you walk away with all the attention? No chance, come on girls. Let's go shopping.
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Felicia : Oh, you can't do that with a ping-pong ball!
Bernadette : Do you wanna bet?
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Felicia : I mean who is the fish that runs this bloody hotel in the middle of nowhere, anyway? Your mother?
Tick : No, my wife.
Felicia : Ooh, don't tell me you've got an ex-boyfriend tucked away out here somewhere.
Tick : No, my wife! I'm married.
[the bus brakes screech and glass shatters]
Tick : Oh, fuck!
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[to Tick and Bernadette, as he is cooking sausages]
Felicia : How do you like your little boys, girls?
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Felicia : [to Tick and Bernadette] I met these Swedish tourists called... Lars, Lars and Lars.
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Bernadette : Tony, Adam. This is Mr. and Mrs. Spencer.
Tick : Hello.
Felicia : Hello.
[the car drives off leaving them stranded]
Felicia : No, wait. Stop! Shit!.
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Felicia : [to Tick and Bernadette] The only life I saw for the last million miles were the hypnotized bunnies. Most of them are now wedged in the tires.
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Mitzi : [as Felicia starts painting over the graffiti on their bus, which is stranded in the middle of nowhere] Purple?
Felicia : It's not *purple*, it's *lavender*. Whaddaya think?
Mitzi : It's nice... in a hideous sort of a way.
Mitzi : [to Bernadette, who has started walking off] Where are *you* going?
Bernadette : If you think I'm going to sit around watching Picasso take on the public transit system, you've got another thing coming. I'll be back with the cavalry in a couple of hours.
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Felicia : [to Tick and Bernadette] So anyway, back to me.
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Felicia : [to Tick] Mowing those lawns must have been murder on your heels, though.
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[after their bus breaks down in the middle of the outback]
Tick : What's happening?
Felicia : Um, I don't know.
Bernadette : Oh, my God! Oh, Felicia. Where the Fuckawei?
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Felicia : This old man he played two. He played knick-knack with my poo!
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Felicia : [to Tick] This is getting too weird. You, and a *woman*? What did she used do for kicks? Put a bucket on your head and swing off the handle?
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Tick : Well, listen to this one. After we did the ABBA show, Kevin had one of those liposuction penis enlargements.
Felicia : He didn't?
Tick : Yep. Do you know what they do? They siphon all the fat out of your love handles, and actually inject it into your wing-wang.
Felicia : Ugh! Yucky! I suppose it gives a whole new meaning to "cracking a fat", though, doesn't it?
[laughs]
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Felicia : Well, girls, what can I say? Here's to a secret very well kept.
Bernadette : Shame it's not gonna stay that way, isn't it?
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Felicia : How long have we been on the road?
Bernadette : Four and a half hours.
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Felicia : [to Bernadette] Come on, Bernice. It's so funny you'll laugh so hard your lashes will curl all by themselves.
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Felicia : [to Tick, about Bernadette] Hey, can you confirm a rumor for me? Is it true that her real name is Ralph?
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Felicia : [to Tick] Congratulations, Missy, my darling, you did it. One lap of the Broken Hill main drag, in drag. That'll teach you to take on the Fairmont Boys School snap champion!
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Felicia : [to Frank and the boys] Who wants to see my map of Tasmania?
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Felicia : [to Tick] You haven't got any kids stashed away out there as well have you?
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Felicia : [to Tick and Bernadette] So... All dolled up and nowhere to go.
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Felicia : [to Bernadette] Sorry... Ralph.
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Felicia : [to Tick] Oh! Oh, Mitzi! It's gabardine! I haven't seen gabardine for years!
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Felicia : Oh, you can't do that with a ping pong ball!
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Felicia : See ya, Ralph!