Boy Meets World (1993–2000)

Will Friedle: Eric Matthews, Gumshoe, Self

Photos 

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Quotes 

• Eric : So I said to myself, 'Kyle,'...

  Alan : Kyle?

  Eric : That's what I call myself.

• Eric : Mr. F... F... F... Feeny

  Mr. George Feeny : I love the Feeny call

• Eric : I have a question that I'm going to need a yes or no answer to. How many people get into Yale each year?

  Mr. George Feeny : No.

• Eric : It was one of those nights. You know the kind. Like day, but darker.

• Sergeant Moore : Boy you are disgrace to this community, this country, and humanity in general!

  Eric : Oh, wow!

• Topanga : Yeah, Shawn, you were wrong about Feeny and you're wrong about this.

  Shawn Hunter : You were wrong to break up with Cory.

  Topanga : What does that have to do with anything?

  Shawn Hunter : Did any of this happen while you two were still together?

  Topanga : No.

  Shawn Hunter : You've killed us. You've killed us all.

  Eric : Hey, hey. Now there's only two people horribly dead here, that's an acceptable loss.

• Eric : When did this school get a library?

  Jack : Everyday is a new adventure isn't it?

• Jack : She got sick and said that chicken soup would help her feel better. I told her it probably would. Then I went bowling.

  Eric : Guys, I've come to a conclusion: Men are idiots.

  Eric , Cory , Alan , Shawn Hunter , Mr. George Feeny , Jack : What?

  Eric : Wait! There's more! Men are big idiots.

  Eric , Cory , Alan , Shawn Hunter , Mr. George Feeny , Jack : Hmm... yeah.

• Eric : See, duckies are good, cuz not only do they give you that non-threatening sense of security, but you can feed 'em crackers and you can ride 'em. See, duckies are the horsies of the ocean. No, I mean they are.

  Cory : Okay, someone explain to me about duckies before I hit him with a spoon.

  Amy Matthews : It's wallpaper.

  Topanga : It's adorable.

  Alan Matthews : It's for you room.

  Eric : DUCKIES RULE.

• Eric : My grades aren't good enough to get me into college?

  Mr. George Feeny : Your grades, my friend, aren't good enough to get you a Slurpee.

• [Tommy wants Eric to adopt him] 

  Tommy : Do you know what Scooby did when Shaggy fell in the well?

  Eric : This isn't a cartoon, Tommy.

  Tommy : He SAVED him. He saved him because he LOVED him.

  Eric : Tommy, you know I love you.

  Tommy : Then why won't you save me?

• [Eric and Topanga have gone on a diet together, but are keeping it a secret; Cory thinks the reason Topanga is acting differently is that she's pregnant] 

  Eric : [to Topanga]  Look, in a few months, everything's gonna be back to normal, okay?

  Cory : All right, Eric. What's going on?

  Eric : Hey, Cor. You smell like chicken.

  Cory : Don't change the subject. I know Topanga confided in you. What did she tell you?

  Eric : She told me that she's in trouble and it's all your fault. Your waffles and butter did this to her.

  Cory : Why would Topanga confide in you instead of her own husband?

  Eric : Because she knew how you'd react.

  Cory : You mean like this?

  [screams] 

  Cory : My life is over!

  [back to normal voice] 

  Cory : Like that?

  Eric : That's why she came to me, okay? People like us have similar appetites, that's how we get into situations like this.

  Cory : You've been in this situation before?

  Eric : Yeah, on and off since high school.

  Cory : Do Mom and Dad know?

  Eric : Yeah, Mom and Dad know. Dad actually thinks it's kinda funny.

  [laughs] 

  Cory : Oh, no, Eric. There is nothing funny about this. Every day she gets bigger, my life gets a little more complicated.

  Eric : Your life? Is that all you can think about? What about Topanga, huh? What is she supposed to do? Her body's out of control and she has nowhere to turn! Look, if you can't be supportive then the best possible thing for you to do is just stay away from her. Just stay away from her!

  Cory : [hysterical]  I don't know what I should do!

  [both run away, in opposite directions] 

• Eric : Life's tough, get a helmet.

• Eric , Shawn Hunter , Jack : [gasp]  Topanga!

• Eric : I married a moose.

• Cory : Eric?

  Eric : How did you find me?

  Cory : You live here.

• [Mr. Feeny has just given Eric back his paper] 

  Eric : Oh... Mr. Feeny, you didn't finish your sentence. A... what?

• Little boy : I just want to have my picture taken, so I can send it to my grandma so she sends me a check.

  Eric : After she sends the check, tell her she forgot the check. Works every time.

• Eric : [sees a spider on his arm]  What do you think Mr. Birdy?

  [slurred] 

  Eric : Birdy bit me... left side paralyzed... losing consciousness...

• Eric : Guess who's got pictures of Cory running naked through the sprinkler?

  Cory : Eric, I was four.

  Eric : You were twelve.

  Cory : It was... refreshing.

• Shawn : Okay, all right lets calmly recap.

  Eric : Kenny's dead, Feeny's dead, we're trapped inside with the killer.

• Topanga : Somebody has to find a way out.

  Eric : Fine. I'll do it. I'm the oldest.

  Jack : Actually, I'm the oldest.

  Eric : Yeah, but I've lived the longest.

• Eric : Nothing happened.

  Cory : Yeah, and it DIDN'T happen in Mom and Dad's bed. I have you. I have you by your ovaries.

• Cory : An operation? Operations are bad. Do you remember our cat, Fluffy. He died during an operation.

  Eric : Cory, Fluffy fell out of a tree. They were trying to sew his head back on.

• [Eric is asked how he afforded a huge wedding] 

  Eric : So I'm picking up the tuxes, and I see that they're setting up for this big Peterman wedding next door.

  Rachel McGuire : Wait - "disposable diaper" Petermans?

  Eric : Yeah, them Petermans.

  Rachel McGuire : But their wedding is, like, the social event of the year.

  Eric : Yeah, well... now it's not.

  Jack : What did you do?

  Eric : Nothing, really. I just called the operator and asked for the number to the hotel, and while I was waiting, I noticed there was a little shmutz on the end of the phone. I couldn't tell whether it was dried vomit or gum. It *tasted* more like gum...

  Jack : Get on with it!

  Eric : Anyway, I told them that I was E.J. Peterman and that my daughter had to get married right away because she was pregnant. So drink up, guys, 'cause this is gonna hit the fan in, like, two seconds...

• Alan Matthews : Things aren't always easy in the real world.

  Eric : I'm going to Yale. I'm going to Yale.

  Alan Matthews : It's a little easier in his world

• Eric : Hey, what's up with the Weasel? She's locked herself in the bathroom singing, "On the first day of Christmas, I murdered Santa Claus.".

• Eric : If stupidity were in the Olympics, you'd win a Nobel Prize.

• Amy Matthews : Alan, remember how we were worried about Eric's F-U-T-U-R-E?

  Eric : Oh mom, you don't have to worry about my furniture.

• [about to take a picture for the yearbook] 

  Eric : Dumped.

  Cory : Dumped.

  Shawn Hunter : Cheese.

• Jack : [Eric is set on getting revenge on Topanga for beating him up and he is dressed as an old man inside a painting. Jack walks by and stops in shock]  I begged you. I begged you to get help

  Eric : [laughs]  Oooh this is going to be so sweet. Bye, bye Topanga.

  Jack : You know what, Topanga is too smart for you. Anyone is.

  Eric : Stay out of this Jack. This is a one man mission. Will you help me?

  Jack : No.

  [leaves] 

  Eric : Fine. I can handle this myself.

  [to the woman in the painting] 

  Eric : You have a very large head. I don't know why I married you.

• Cory : Did you guys see Feeny out there?

  Eric : Nope, not a sole, actually it was kinda creepy.

  Topanga : Why Creepy? Why is it creepy? Why did you say creepy? Why creepy?

• Eric : [to Cory]  Hey, be careful. Not that I care.

• [after finding the dead janitor] 

  Eric : Wait a second, the killer's dead. We're off the hook. Up top.

• Eric : Done, Done, Done.

  Topanga : Enough already!

  Shawn Hunter : What, do we upset you?

  Topanga : Yes!

  Cory : Upset you enough to kill?

• Eric : Oh my God! He killed Kenny!

  Cory : We'll always know he was this tall.

• Cory : [after a date at a poetry reading]  I love poetry now! You know, I could be a poet: There once was a boy named Cory.

  Eric : Who now has an interesting story!

  Cory : He learned about kissin'...

  Eric : And all he was missin'...

  Shawn Hunter : When he and Topanga made out!

  Cory : [to Shawn]  Can you say summer school?

• [Cory, Topanga, Shawn, Angela, Eric, and Jack are trapped in the high school with a murderer. He has just now murdered Mr. Feeny. They are hiding in a classroom trying to figure out what to do next] 

  Topanga : Feeny's dead... Feeny's dead! Mr. Feeny is dead!

  Cory : Feeny can't die, how can Feeny die?

  Shawn Hunter : He was the first suspect. It's my fault, the second I suspected him, I signed his death warrant.

  Angela : Well, is any one of us safe?

  Shawn Hunter : Yeah, virgins. Virgins never die.

  Cory : All right!

  [to Topanga] 

  Cory : Thanks for saving me.

  Eric : [happily]  I'm dead!

  Jack : I'm dead.

  Shawn Hunter : I'll get as sick as you can get without actually... dying.

  Angela : Feeny, he's dead.

  [Eric and Shawn lock eyes, thinking the exact same thing] 

  Eric : All right!

  Shawn Hunter , Eric : [cheering and signing]  Go, Feeny, go, Feeny, go...

  Cory : [annoyed]  Okay! Listen. As happy as I am for Feeny, I am scared to death here.

• Clerk : I'm sorry, we don't give that kind of information.

  Eric : Really? Well...

  [produces $1] 

  Eric : Perhaps my friend Mr. Washington will help you change your mind.

• [Eric returns from the future, where Cory is called Rory] 

  Eric : Rory?

  Cory : Reric?

• Eric : What are you doing?

  Morgan Matthews : Filling out college applications.

  Eric : But, you're only in the third grade, you can't go to college.

  Morgan Matthews : Cory said that if you can go to college, anyone can go to college.

  Eric : Morgan, isn't it time to bother someone else?

• Feeny : Alan, there is a large rusty object not only blocking my driveway, but most of the light into my kitchen.

  Eric : Hey, that's my new car.

  Feeny : May I assume it moves?

  Eric : Like the wind. Especially downhill. Oh. You want me to move it?

  Feeny : Well, we certainly can't count on anyone stealing it.

• [Eric is dressed as a woman] 

  Eric : It's great to be so in touch with my feminine side

  [pretty girl walks past Eric] 

  Eric : and now I'm gonna get in touch with her feminine side. Hey. Hey. We can be friends. Come on everyone experiments in college.

• Eric : Shawn's poor. Ha ha.

• Caterer : Quiche?

  Eric : Don't mind if I do.

  [kisses her] 

• Cory : I'm thinking of becoming a poet. There once was a boy named Cory...

  Eric : Who has an interesting story...

  Cory : He learned about kissing...

  Eric : And all he was missing...

  Shawn Hunter : When he and Topanga made out!

  Cory : [to Shawn]  Can you say, "Summer school?"

• [Eric is reading a ltter from Cory] 

  Cory : [voiceover]  Dear Eric, You think I'm safe. Well, I'm not. I'm dangerous. I'm going to the amusement park with Mr. Feeny.

  Eric : [stops reading]  With Mr. Feeny?

  [continues] 

  Cory : Yes, with Mr. Feeny.

• Topanga : [Topanga reveals that she is not pregnant, just dieting because she believes she is fat]  That's why Eric and I went on a diet.

  [points to Eric] 

  Eric : [stuffing his face with food]  I'm not fat. I'm pregnant.

• Cory : [On a road trip with Eric, wanting to go home]  I want to go home and here's why, I'm completely out of clean underwear.

  Eric : Big deal. I ran out a week ago. I'm sittin' pretty.

  Cory : I don't know if you've noticed, but I've also run out of pants.

  Eric : [Looks]  Ahhh!

  Cory : I wanna go home!

  Eric : I want you in pants!

• Eric : Oh Mary-Anne, I wish to make out with thee

  [pitchfork is thrown at him] 

  Jack : What an arm!

  Eric : [as driving away]  I thought you were friendly people!

• Eric : How great is this.

  Jack : Do you know how great this is?

  Shawn Hunter : This is great.

• Eric : I don't skate. At all.

  Jason : Canadians skate. How hard could it be?

• Quarterback : What's your last name?

  Eric : Matthews.

  Quarterback : Wow. Same as your brother's.

• Eric : Where's my lucky tube socks?

  Cory : [holding up two very tiny socks]  I don't think they're so lucky anymore.

• [Eric is dressed up as a woman and Topanga doesn't know it's him] 

  Topanga : I think you're beautiful on the inside.

  Eric : Did you say I was... beautiful?

  Topanga : ...Yeah... cause you are.

• Alan Matthews : Maybe we should try thinking.

  Cory : No, me and Shawn have already tried that. It doesn't work.

  Alan Matthews : Maybe we should try listening to them.

  [beat] 

  Alan Matthews : [Everyone laughs] 

  Eric : Maybe we should try Cory's thinking thing again.

• Eric : I know what you're saying and I'm winking right back at you.

  Mr. George Feeny : Please don't.

• [Shawn shows up drunk at the Matthew's house for Alan's surprise birthday party] 

  Shawn : Surprise.

  Eric : It's tomorrow night, you idiot.

• Eric : Hey, Artie.

  Arthur : It's Arthur.

  Eric : You're up for the same internship.

  Arthur : Eric, I'm going to save you the embarrassment. I'm a straight A student, my documentaries have gone to multiple film festival honors, and I have a letter of recommendation from Ted Turner.

  Eric : Your point?

  Arthur : I could walk in without pants and get this job.

  Eric : I've seen you in gym class, Arthur, wear pants.

• Mr. George Feeny : [Rachel, Eric, Cory and Topanga are playing the Fiancè Game, and Mr. Feeny has been selected to read the questions]  Okay, Rachel, what is Eric's favorite fish?

  Rachel McGuire : Umm... penguin!

  Mr. George Feeny : No, I don't think you understand...

  Eric : [Flips up paper with the word penguin written on it]  BAM!

  Rachel McGuire : Oh, do I know my man?

  Eric : It's like we share the same brain.

• Eric : [shouts]  Sneak attack!

• Eric : [to Cory]  I want you to know, in this, your darkest hour of your teenage life, I trying really hard not laugh!

  [Cracks up laughing] 

• Eric : We feed Morgan some kind of poison, which makes her ill. And when Dad is in the emergency room, that's when the party begins!

  Topanga : Let me get this stright, you would poison your sister to surprise your father?

  Eric : Now if Morgan goes south, you know, if she croaks, it will put a damper on the whole party. That's why we will have... Horsey Rides! See, me on the horsey, (let's call him Pete) on Pete having fun, joy, merriment. Any questions?

• Alan : As much as I love this, you and me, how long is this going to go on?

  Eric : Uh. I don't know, We could play to 11 or 21 or 17 - that'd be weird, huh?

• Eric : [after Cory drips water on his face]  I'd kill you, but I can't move.