After cast credits: And another 2,500 actors that auditioned for the above parts and were lucky enough to be turned down.
The Stunt Players (You know, those daredevils who make the actors look good on screen...)
The Production Crew (You know, those people who sit at the office eating burgers and pursuing loose broads...)
The Set Crew (All those wonderful, hard-working, behind-the-camera heroes--with the exception of those who were fired in the first three days of production)
Pencil Sharpener...S. Harp Point
Toliet Paper Wrangler...D. Spencer
Hocus Pocus...Cladudius Carnivorous IV
Bag Lady...Sissy Changer
Other Electricians S. Circuit D. Fuse C. Dark
Key Holder...K. Ring
Poison Ivy Wrangler...Thunder Thighs
Bring my chair, how about hot cocoa, get me a peanut butter sandwich and personal assistant...Marjean Holden
Ladies' Undresser...P.P. Tom
Sound Supervisor...D. Eaf
Underwear Wrangler...O. Lucky Man
Special Effects...Fat Chance
Psychic to the Stars...Margaret Loonie
Massage Advisors to the Cast...R.E. Lax
Scissors Maintenance...R. Blade
Tape Dispensor...S. Scotch
2nd AC (110V)
Set and Office Production Assistants (Underpaid, overworked and never nagging)
After the acknowledgements: No, seriously, we have to say thanks to a few good people and companies. If you don't like it, time to get out of the theatre, or, in case this picture goes directly to video, use the fast rewind to replay Miss Randall's bathroom scene. SO THANKS GUYS!
No drugs, cigarette smoking or alcohol were allowed during production and post-production of this movie. We cannot, unfortunately, make the same disclaimer about sex.
Stunts and love scenes performed in this motion picture were staged by highly qualified professionals. Do not attempt them at home.
Miss Randall's bubble bath from K-Mart.
Mr. Egan's clothes and underwear from Le Garage Sale, L.A.
Mr. Okamura's beard courtesy of Mother Nature.
Miss Steven's body is totally awesome and totally real.
Please rent this tape again. Starving actors are waiting for their residuals. Thank you. Come again. Who knows, maybe there will be a NINJA ACADEMY II-THE PROFESSIONALS coming soon to a theatre and a video store near you...
Clear Tape....S. Cotch Tape
2nd Ass. (don't think of this the wrong way) Director.