Diggin' Up Business (1990)
Robert Gallo: Rossoti
Quotes
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Mrs. Shlumsky : What the H.E. double toothpicks are you talking about?
Tesia Papadapacropolis : Alright Mrs Shtumpsky, the gig is up. We know about the extra bodies.
Mrs. Shlumsky : Huh?
Albert : Look, don't toy with her.
Tesia Papadapacropolis : That's right. I've covered for you and Granddad long enough. Spill it, you old fool!
Mrs. Shlumsky : What's your problem?
Desmond : Officers, if I may be of assistance. Apparently this mortuary has been disposing of more dearly departed than it can account for.
Don : I'm no party to this, I swear.
Albert : Wait a minute, you knew about all of this?
Desmond : Of course.
Albert : Well then what's with "Give me the March, where's the April"?
Desmond : MEANii provides proper procedures in perpetuity.
Mrs. Shlumsky : Mmm, alliteration.
Tesia Papadapacropolis : Don't try and backtrack now, Mrs Shtumpsky. You're caught.
Mrs. Shlumsky : You're all going mental.
Desmond : I have all the evidence required for a full-scale investigation. More than two-thirds of your clients were never declared deceased persons. Most had only one name. For example, July nineteen, Montgomery, male. No death certificate was ever issued.
Tesia Papadapacropolis : So what do you say to that, huh?
Hope : Wait a minute. What are you people talking about? Montgomery was a Persian.
Don : Murderers! Racists!
Crosby : No, not at all. We don't care about race, creed or pedigree.
Hope : That's right. We bury animals from all walks of life.
Desmond : Animals? Well, of course animals don't come under MEANii's jurisdiction. Wait a minute. This is no pet cemetery. All these burials were in areas set aside for people.
Crosby : Where do you think they're coming from? Don't you remember what Shirley Mack said? We are all equal souls whatever incarnation.
Albert : Wait a minute. You guys hid those bills?
Hope : We figured if they didn't exist, then the deaths wouldn't either.
Mrs. Shlumsky : Existential thinking.
Desmond : I am at a loss. Animals are a whole different ball of fur. I declare the Papadapacropolis audit officially over.
Rossoti : Anyway, we got our man.
[looks around for Coats, who has quietly slipped away]
Rossoti : Phelps? Phelps! Phelps!
Don : [Tesia and Albert embrace] Now stop that.
Tesia Papadapacropolis : Can't wait to tell Granddad. He's gonna die when he hears about this!
Albert : I think he already has.
Tesia Papadapacropolis : What?