Dances with Wolves (1990)

Maury Chaykin: Major Fambrough

Photos 

Quotes 

• Major Fambrough : Sir knight? I've just pissed in my pants... and nobody can do anything about it.

• Major Fambrough : [barely audible]  Lieutenant John J. Dunbar?

  [louder] 

  Major Fambrough : Lieutenant John J. Dunbar?

  John Dunbar : Yes, sir.

  Major Fambrough : Yes, sir. Indian fighter, huh?

  John Dunbar : Excuse me?

  Major Fambrough : [reading orders]  Well it says here that you're to be posted on the frontier. The frontier's Indian country. I quickly deduced that you're an Indian fighter. I did not ascend to this position by being stupid.

  John Dunbar : No, sir.

  Major Fambrough : No, sir. It says here that you've been decorated.

  John Dunbar : Yes, sir.

  Major Fambrough : [nods]  And they sent you here to be posted?

  John Dunbar : Actually sir, I'm here at my own request.

  Major Fambrough : Really? Why?

  John Dunbar : I've always wanted to see the frontier.

  Major Fambrough : You want to see the frontier?

  John Dunbar : Yes, sir. Before it's gone.

  Major Fambrough : [smiles]  Such a smart lad, coming straight to me.

  [pulls a sheet of paper from his desk drawer and begins to write] 

  Major Fambrough : Sir Knight... I'm sending you on a knight's errand. You will report to Captain Cargill at the furthermost outpost of the realm... Fort Sedgewick. My personal seal will assure your safety through many miles of wild and hostile country.

  [wads up the paper tightly and hands it to Dunbar] 

  John Dunbar : I was wondering...

  Major Fambrough : Yes?

  John Dunbar : I was wondering, sir... how will I be getting there?

  Major Fambrough : [paranoid]  You think I don't know?

  John Dunbar : No, sir.

  Major Fambrough : You think I don't know.

  John Dunbar : No sir, it's just that I don't...

  Major Fambrough : Hold your tongue! I just happen to be in a generous mood and I will grant you a boon. See that peasant out there?

  [glances to window to Timmons standing outside] 

  Major Fambrough : He calls himself Timmons. He's going to your Fort Sedgewick this very afternoon... you can ride with him if you like. He knows the way. Thank you. That is all.

  Major Fambrough : [Dunbar salutes Fambrough... he returns it halfheartedly. Dunbar turns to leave]  Sir Knight?

  [Dunbar turns back around to face him, Fambrough stands up] 

  Major Fambrough : I've just pissed in my pants, and nobody can do anything about it.

  [Dunbar turns back around silently and leaves] 

• Major Fambrough : The king is dead...

  [raises a pistol to his head] 

  Major Fambrough : Long live the king...

  [pulls the trigger]