Lethal Weapon 2 (1989)

Mel Gibson: Martin Riggs

Photos 

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Quotes 

• [Rudd fires at Riggs, hitting him several times. Riggs falls, writhing in pain. Arjen's gun clicks empty. Roger aims at him] 

  Roger Murtaugh : [shouting]  DROP IT, ASSHOLE!

  Martin Riggs : [weakly]  Rog...

  Arjen Rudd : [holds up his wallet]  Diplomatic immunity.

  [Roger slowly rolls his head on his neck, takes aim, and fires - his bullet goes through Rudd's wallet, and then his head] 

  Roger Murtaugh : It's *just been revoked*!

• Riggs : We're back, we're bad, you're black, I'm mad.

• [after receiving the wrong order at the drive-thru] 

  Leo Getz : They fuck you at the drive-thru, okay? They fuck you at the drive-thru! They know you're gonna be miles away before you find out you got fucked! They know you're not gonna turn around and go back, they don't care. So who gets fucked? Ol' Leo Getz! Okay, sure! I don't give a fuck! I'm not eating this tuna, okay?

  Roger Murtaugh , Martin Riggs : Shut up!

• Martin Riggs : Hey, hey. Did you get them? The bad guys? Are they all gone?

  Roger Murtaugh : Yeah. Hey, hey. They've been... de-kaffir-nated.

• [Roger is sitting on a boobytrapped toilet] 

  Roger : Why didn't they plant the bomb in Trish's stove?

  Riggs : Yeah. Think of all the needless suffering that could've ended there!

  [both laugh] 

  Roger : I'm gonna die on a toilet, aren't I?

  Riggs : Guys like you don't die on toilets.

• [after seeing Rianne's commercial on TV] 

  Martin Riggs : Hey what's with you Rog? She was great, she was beautiful.

  Mickey McGee : Yeah, I liked it. She made me want to go out and buy rubbers right now!

• [about to pull Murtaugh off the booby-trapped toilet] 

  Martin Riggs : On three, what do ya say?

  Roger Murtaugh : Okay.

  Martin Riggs : One... two...

  Roger Murtaugh : Wait, wait, wait!

  Martin Riggs : What?

  Roger Murtaugh : Do we do it on three? Or one, two, three, then do it?

  Martin Riggs : It's your ass, Cochise!

  Roger Murtaugh : My ass, yeah. On three.

  Martin Riggs : We go on three?

  Roger Murtaugh : Yeah.

• Martin Riggs : [a smoking Riggs and Murtaugh have been assigned to guard Leo]  This stinks!

  Capt. Murphy : I don't give a fuck, Riggs. That's why I don't have an ulcer, because I know when to say "I don't give a fuck."

  [They go to leave] 

  Capt. Murphy : And Riggs.

  Capt. Murphy : What?

  [Murphy throws Riggs a desktop no smoking sign] 

  Capt. Murphy : You know what that says?

  Martin Riggs : Yeah, the same thing as that.

  [Points to a no smoking sign on the door] 

  Martin Riggs : But I don't give a fuck.

  [Riggs throws the sign back at Murphy, then leaves. Murphy and Murtaugh look at each other] 

  Roger Murtaugh : You're lucky. I have to live with that.

• Pieter Vorstedt : I was going to offer you a drink, Riggs, but I hear you're on the wagon these days.

  Martin Riggs : Yeah, that stuff'll kill you quick. Listen, you know so much about me; who the hell are you?

  Pieter Vorstedt : I'm the guy that changed the course of your life, man. 4 years ago, Riggs, when you were a narc down in Long Beach, you were getting too close to us so we put a contract out on you. I handled it myself; drove your car right off the fucking road, remember? Now, of course, you weren't driving. You can't imagine the surprise. I pulled back this matted mop of blood-soaked hair to see this woman's face... your wife, right? She didn't die straightaway... took a bit of time.

  [Riggs angrily charges for Vorstedt, but is restrained] 

  Pieter Vorstedt : Don't know much luck with women, do you, Riggs?

• [Riggs is about to drive up onto the center divider of an overpass in Trish's new car during pursuit] 

  Roger Murtaugh : [anxiously]  You're not going to make it!

  Martin Riggs : I'm gonna make it...

  Roger Murtaugh : No, there's not enough room!

  Martin Riggs : Sure I'll make it!

  Roger Murtaugh : [shouts]  You're not gonna make it!

  [runs the car up onto the divider, scraping it along a metal guard-rail] 

  Roger Murtaugh : [screams as sparks fly]  Ah, my side panel!

  Martin Riggs : [ignoring Murtaugh and shouting to other driver beside them]  Move over!

  Roger Murtaugh : [to other driver]  Get over, motherfucker!

  [They pass the guardrail] 

  Martin Riggs : Godamnit you were right, ya know? There wasn't enough room.

• [Ribbing Murtaugh about his daughter's television ad for condoms] 

  Riggs : In one ear, out the RUBBER...

• Martin Riggs : Police! Open up!

  Leo Getz : How do I know it's the police?

  Martin Riggs : After I shoot you through the door, you can examine the bullet. Open up!

• Martin Riggs : I'm not a cop tonight, Rog. This is personal.

• [after a wild car chase, the car looks like a wreck] 

  Roger Murtaugh : This was a new car, Riggs...

  Martin Riggs : Well, it still is!

• [Riggs has dislocated his shoulder to escaped from a straight-jacket for a bet] 

  Detective : How the hell do you do that man?

  Martin Riggs : Well, I dislocated my shoulder one time and I can do it whenever I want.

  Detective : God damn man, doesn't that hurt?

  Martin Riggs : Yes it does but not as much as when I put it back in!

  [Slams his shoulder into an office partition wall] 

• Martin Riggs : Well if it isn't Mrs. Sigmund Fraud.

  Dr. Stephanie Woods : My door is always open.

  Martin Riggs : Well, I think we should keep this on a professional level, don't you, Doc?

  Dr. Stephanie Woods : Why do you do this to yourself Riggs?

  Martin Riggs : Well, who else am I supposed to do it to? None of them'll let me. Besides, I need the money.

• [McGee uses a nail gun, Riggs and Murtaugh drop to the floor, guns drawn] 

  Mickey McGee : Hey, Jesus Christ! What the hell's wrong with you guys?

  Martin Riggs : I'm sorry, that's very uncool.

  Mickey McGee : You're sorry? Check my shorts, for Christ's sake!

• George : Mr. Murtaugh has a gun.

  Martin Riggs : Yeah, but it's an old gun and he's not a very good shot.

• Martin Riggs : I'm surprised you haven't heard of me, I got a bad reputation, like sometimes I just go nuts like now ha ha!

• [after Riggs threatened Rudd in his office] 

  Arjen "Aryan" Rudd : Just get out of here, Kaffir-lover!

  Martin Riggs : [pointing his gun at each of Rudd's henchman]  Eeny... Meeny... Meinie...

  [points at Vorstedt for a long moment] 

  Martin Riggs : [a la Curly from the Three Stooges]  Hey Moe!

  [Riggs shoots the fish tank, causing water and fishes to spill everywhere] 

  Martin Riggs : [mock saluting]  Big Smile! Big Smile! BIG SMILE!

  [Riggs leaves] 

• Trish Murtaugh : [holds up a gold pen]  Is this your pen?

  Martin Riggs : Thanks,

  [takes it] 

  Martin Riggs : I keep losing it.

  [he goes back to cuting up the vegetables] 

  Trish Murtaugh : Something's wrong.

  Martin Riggs : Naw, not really, just another goddamn pen.

  [He ignores her for awhile] 

  Trish Murtaugh : You were saying about the pen.

  Martin Riggs : Oh, it just reminds me of something thats all.

  Trish Murtaugh : Reminds you of what?

  Martin Riggs : Ah, reminds me of the night Vicki was killed.

  Trish Murtaugh : [pause]  I didn't mean to push.

  Martin Riggs : Hang on that ok, we never talked about this did we.

  [pauses] 

  Martin Riggs : Well, I supposed to be meeting her for dinner and you know one of those romantic dinners for two. I was up to my eyeballs in work and I forgot about the whole thing.

  [puts the cut up vegetables into a pot] 

  Martin Riggs : I guess she waited in the restaurant for an hour before she decided to drive home alone. It was midnight before I got home, I got home to a ringing phone, so naturally I answered it. They told me she was killed in a car crash.

  [pauses] 

  Martin Riggs : I should have been driving, I guess we would have been all right, huh. Anyway I remember falling down on my knees and I started shaking all over and I remember thinking I'm losing it, I'm losing it. So there I was lying on the living room floor. Lying there and I'm seeing under the couch and I see this gold pen. Gold pen just lying under the couch, I've been looking, haven't seen it in two months, there it is.

  [laughs slightly] 

  Martin Riggs : She wasn't much of a housekeeper. And this voice goes off inside my head, kind a like a drill instructor, I really heard it. It said GET UP NOW. I didn't feel like it but I got up, muscles were still working and I drove to the hospital and identified her in the morgue and signed her out with my gold pen.

  Roger Murtaugh : [walks in]  Gold pen? Hey, Trish found one in the laundry the other day.

  [Trish and Martin look at each other] 

• Martin Riggs : Hey, this is a real nice hobby room. All you need now is a hobby!

• [after falling into a hotel swimming pool] 

  Martin Riggs : Where were you man? You my partner or what? Why didn't you follow me down?

  Leo Getz : Yeah, why didn't you follow him down?

  Roger Murtaugh : Shut up! From seven floors up?

• [Admiring the view over L.A] 

  Roger Murtaugh : That's downtown L.A. How would you like to have a house up here?

  Martin Riggs : Well, it would be okay on the three days of the year when you can actually see it!

• Pieter Vorstedt : What is going on down here?

  Martin Riggs : Freeze dickhead! Get down here dickhead. Come on, it's been a bad day!

• [Riggs confronts Rudd and his minions in their office] 

  Martin Riggs : Hey, don't bother calling the police. I'm here already.

  Arjen Rudd : I should have known.

  Martin Riggs : Well, well... it's the master race!

  Arjen Rudd : I hope you realize the trouble you are in right now.

  Martin Riggs : Well, as usual, you people have everything all upside down and turned around and back to front.

• [Riggs has accosted Rudd, Vorstedt and several other consulate thugs in Rudd's office] 

  Martin Riggs : I'll make you a deal, Arjen, or Aryan, or whatever the fuck your name is, I'll make you a little deal. You fold up your tents - and get the fuck out of my country - and I won't do anything to you. I'll leave you alone.

  [points his gun at Arjen's face] 

  Martin Riggs : Cause if you stick around here, I'm gonna FUCK YOUR ASS.

• Leo Getz : Hey hey hey! Listen, if we're going, shouldn't I have a gun?

  Martin Riggs , Roger Murtaugh : NO!

• [shouting at the driver while hanging onto the bonnet of a moving car] 

  Martin Riggs : I'd like to see your drivers license and proof of insurance!

  [Riggs falls of the car] 

• [Riggs sitting by the shore with his dog, Sam] 

  Martin Riggs : Hey, did anyone ever tell you if you sit on the rocks too long, you get piles? Come on, lets get out of here.

• [Leo Getz explaining money laundering] 

  Leo Getz : Okay, okay, okay, okay, this is the best part okay? You make a tax deduction on interest payments you don't even make! Am I an innovator? Am I a genius?

  Martin Riggs : You're a swindler!

  Roger Murtaugh : Cheat!

  Leo Getz : Everyone cheats a little bit... look at the Pentagon!

• Rudd : Now we DO have a serious diplomatic situation here, which I will be taking up with your state department first thing in the morning.

  Riggs : Whoa, you got me quakin' in my boots, but I'm still gonna bring you down.

  Rudd : My dear officer, you could not even give me a parking ticket!... Who is the dickhead now, eh?

• [Murtaugh is lying on top of Riggs in the bath, after the explosion] 

  Martin Riggs : Get off me man! I don't want anybody to see us like this!

• Rika Van Den Haas : What are you doing here?

  Martin Riggs : Oh, I've just been upstairs with your boss, shooting the breeze... shooting his fish.

• [Murtaugh is holding a wounded Riggs in his arms after killing Aryan] 

  Martin Riggs : Hey Rog, could you reach into my pocket there?

  [Murtaugh reaches into Riggs's pants pocket, and pulls out a pack of cigarettes, thinking he wants a last smoke before he dies] 

  Roger Murtaugh : Here you go.

  Martin Riggs : I, I want you to throw those things away, those things'll kill ya.

• Nick Murtaugh : Hey, Hey, what's that your eating dad?

  Roger Murtaugh : My tuna fish sandwich

  Trish Murtaugh , Rianne Murtaugh , Nick Murtaugh , Carrie Murtaugh : TUNA!

  Carrie Murtaugh : Daddy, you can't eat tuna

  Roger Murtaugh : I can't eat what

  Carrie Murtaugh : Mom, dad killed flipper

  Trish Murtaugh : [as Rianne points to her shirt]  We're boycotting tuna honey because they kill the dolphins that get's caught in the nets, ONLY albacore

  Roger Murtaugh : Alba what

  Nick Murtaugh : why don't have a ham sandwich

  Martin Riggs : Hey, eat Miss Piggy instead

  Rianne Murtaugh : [Rianne laughs and accidentally slaps Martin in the face]  Oh, I'm sorry

  Martin Riggs : It's only my eye

  Roger Murtaugh : [to Martin]  Ha, Ha, Ha

• Rika Van Den Haas : Rudd's hiding behind his diplomatic credentials, isn't he?

  Riggs : He's not a very good guy, your boss.

  Rika Van Den Haas : Then whatever he's doing, he shouldn't get away with it.

• [Riggs and Rika are in bed] 

  Riggs : I think it's time for the seventh inning stretch.

  [pause] 

  Riggs : That's a baseball expression.

  Rika : I know. But we're only up to the fourth inning.

  Riggs : Batter up!

• Martin Riggs : Do you like your chili with or without crushed Oreos?

• [Riggs crouches down under Roger's toilet, and sees the bomb planted there] 

  Roger Murtaugh : Tell me I'm not fucked.

  Martin Riggs : [under his breath]  He's fucked...

  [louder] 

  Martin Riggs : Well, okay, but I'd be lying.

• [after being sealed into a ship container, Riggs and Murtaugh turn on the lights and find themselves surrounded by bales of money] 

  Roger Murtaugh : Holy shit... thousands... freakin' millions! BILLIONS! Fucking Donald Trump Lotto.

  [pulls out a handful] 

  Roger Murtaugh : These are thousand dollar bills! Man, with what I'm holding in my hand, I could put all my kids through college.

  Martin Riggs : Why don't you take it?

  Roger Murtaugh : [after a pause, throws the money down]  Fuckin' drug money, man!

  Martin Riggs : So what? Do something good with it. Rudd's not gonna need it, not where he's going.

• [Martin Riggs and Leo Getz have fallen into a pool along with the assassin who tried to do Leo in. The assassin escapes. Riggs tries to swim out of the pool, but Leo latches on to him] 

  Leo Getz : [panicky]  Don't leave me! Don't leave me! I'll drown!

  Martin Riggs : Get off me! Get off of me! Would you get the hell off of me?

  Leo Getz : [Leo blubbers pathetically] 

  Martin Riggs : [calmly]  Okay, we are at the shallow end...

  [caustically] 

  Martin Riggs : Now get the f*** off my back!

• Martin Riggs : She's got a great body. She makes you want to buy rubbers.

• [Riggs has just dismantled the stilt house, with Murtaugh and Leo narrowly escaping before it collapsed] 

  Roger Murtaugh : [screaming over the cliff]  Riggs, you crazy mother...

  [he quickly leaves with Leo] 

  Martin Riggs : [jumping up and down in a excited frenzy as he watches the burning remnants of the house]  Yeah!

• Martin Riggs : [to Rika about Sam after Rudd's guys shoot up the trailer, and they are speeding away]  Are there any holes in him?