Three for the Road (1987)

Jackie Stewart: Officer Merle

Quotes 

• Officer Merle : [on his radio, with a drunken Junior in the back seat]  Uh yeah, Leon? This is Merle... I'm on 161 here at Billy Bub's place. I got a stolen 1986 Porsche...

  Junior : [drunk from backseat]  It ain't just a Porsche! Zero to 60 in five seconds...

  Officer Merle : [shoves him backwards]  You smell, boy! Get back on that seat!

  Junior : Full turbo carerra package, man!

  [Merle sprays pine-scented spray at him, Junior sits back] 

• Officer Merle : [outside of Billy Bub's, Junior is in the back seat of their police cruiser]  I don't see why we gotta wet-nurse that little crybaby.

  Officer Earl : I told you, it's directly from headquarters, his daddy's some damn millionaire.

  Officer Merle : Well, I don't give a shit what happened to his goddamn car!

• Junior : [Merle, Earl and Junior follow Junior's Porsche into a junkyard, Paul and Robin escape before they arrive. Merle slams on the brakes and taps Junior's Porsche into a stack of junked cars]  Oh no no...

  [the Porsche gently taps the stack, but unharmed] 

  Junior : Oh... thank you Lord. You must drive a Porsche yourself.

  Junior : [Junior gets out of the cruiser just as the stack tips and crushes his Porsche]  Oh my God, no no no!

  [he beats on the hood of the police cruiser and cries... both cops start laughing hysterically] 

  Officer Merle : Hey boy! There's your damn little Porsche!