Summer School (1987)

Gary Riley: Dave Frazier

Photos 

Quotes 

• Chainsaw : You passed and I failed! You asshole! How could you do that to me?

  Dave : It was an accident. I'll take it again. I can fail, I know I can.

• Shoop : Denise: no previous test score because you ditched every test, but a 38.

  Mrs. Green : Honey, that's terrific!

  Denise : We'll get 'em next time.

  Shoop : Kevin, from a 48 to a 75!

  Kevin Winchester : Yeah, I'm back on the team!

  [Kevin and his did share football shouts and hug] 

  Shoop : Chainsaw: last score was a 6, this time: 59. Monster comeback! And Dave: from a 26 to a 70.

  Dave : I passed!

  Anna-Maria Mazarelli : You made it!

  Chainsaw : You passed? You passed and I failed, asshole! How could you do that to me?

  Dave : It was an accident. I'll take it again, I can fail, I know it.

  Shoop : Pam went from a 53 to an 82.

  Pam : Was that the highest?

  Shoop : Well, almost. That guy who spent six weeks in the bathroom got a 91. But look, there's more going on here than test scores and grades. You all worked hard and improved.

  Phil Gills : And that's very nice, Mr. Shoop. The point here is that we are here to discuss Mr. Shoop's flagrant violation of school policies.

  Principal Kelban : Hold it, Gills. According to my numbers, the average scores have increased from 28 to 63. That's 125% improvement. Now that's teaching. Mr. Shoop, I'm granting you tenure.

• Chainsaw : Our next field trip has to be to the beach.

  Dave : We have to see Annamaria in a bikini. It's very important.

• [about sobriety] 

  Chainsaw : Reality is so unreal.

  Dave : But it is a nice change.

  Chainsaw : True. Two thumbs up.

• Dave : This menstruation thing? It's a scam! Women are so lucky.

• Shoop : Please take your seats.

  Chainsaw , Dave : [upon picking up their desks]  Where should we take 'em?

• Phil Gills : This man should not be teaching. The proof is right here in these test results. Look for yourself, Mr. Shoop. Passing is 70; average score here was 63. They failed.

  Shoop : [looks at the results]  That is not true, Mr. Gills.

  Alan Eakian : You mean we passed?

  Shoop : No, not all of you, but that's not what's important here. Larry went from an 18 to a 51!

  Mrs. Kazimias : If I'd only seen you strip a week sooner.

  Shoop : Rhonda: from a 29 to a 43 and she gave birth.

  Mrs. Altobello : Isn't childbirth grounds for a makeup test?

  Principal Kelban : It always has been.

  Chainsaw : This woman thing never fails.

  Shoop : Eakian: a 51 to a 74.

  Alan Eakian : I passed! I am an Eakian, Grams!

  Dave : All right, Eaker!

• [the classroom is the scene of a bloodbath] 

  Phil Gills : What is wrong with you people?

  Dave : It's just like you said Gills! We're psychopaths! Somebody better call the school nurse!

• Shoop : Your teacher was arrested for giving vodka to students.

  Dave : You went to jail for us?

  Shoop : On roller skates.

• Principal Kelban : Good morning, young people. Vice Principal Gills has some words for you. Mr. Gills.

  Phil Gills : Thank you, Principal Kelban. Well, well. I suppose that you all remember the English skills test you took last month?

  Students : No.

  Denise : I had English?

  Dave : Was that the dot-to-dot puzzle?

  Chainsaw : Yeah, that was it, yeah.

  Dave : No, I don't remember.

  Phil Gills : I'm not surprised. All of you failed. However, in accordance with the district's new policies on minimum academic proficiencies, you will all have the opportunity to retake the exam.

  Chainsaw : Oh, joy, I have a boner now.