- [Bert and Annette start making out]
- Him (voice): Bert, she's gonna know I've been somewhere else.
- Bert Uttanzi: You can't, you can't do this to me.
- Annette Uttanzi: [laughs] Oh, yes I can.
- Him (voice): I'm unclean, Bert.
- Bert Uttanzi: Annette, please.
- Him (voice): I'd hate to be you right now.
- Annette Uttanzi: Bert, what is it?
- Him (voice): She'll know right away.
- Bert Uttanzi: I just, I just can't.
- Bert Uttanzi: You're outta control!
- Him (voice): I'm sorry.
- Bert Uttanzi: Did you say something, Judas?
- Him (voice): Oh, Bert.
- Bert Uttanzi: Judas Peniscariot!
- Bert Uttanzi: [drunkenly hitting on his wife and her sister] Why don't you just admit it? You're both crazy about me.