Father Goose (1964)
Cary Grant: Walter
Photos
Quotes
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[catching a fish barehanded. A fish swims toward them]
Walter Eckland : [In a hushed voice] Hey, here she comes again.
Catherine Freneau : How do you know it's a "she"?
Walter Eckland : Her mouth is open, now be quiet.
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Catherine Freneau : Do you have a boat?
Walter Eckland : No. I walked.
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Catherine Freneau : [Eckland has sucked the "poison" from Catherine's "snakebite"] Tell me, I would like to know - what did my blood taste like?
Walter Eckland : Delicious. Now come on.
[he tries to take her coconut full of whiskey]
Catherine Freneau : No, no, no, I'm serious. What did it taste like?
Walter Eckland : Well how would I know? I'm not a vampire,
Catherine Freneau : Um, was it salty?
Walter Eckland : Mmm, a little salty, yes.
Catherine Freneau : Too salty?
Walter Eckland : No, it was just right.
Catherine Freneau : Oh, no! You thought it was too salty, I can tell! You didn't like it!
[she seems on the verge of crying]
Walter Eckland : I liked it!
Catherine Freneau : Oh, really?
Walter Eckland : Uh-huh, I liked it!
Catherine Freneau : You're not just saying that?
Walter Eckland : Great blood!
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Walter Eckland : [Jenny, who won't talk, has just given him a bottle of liquor. She doesn't reply when he says "Thank you." He holds up a whistle] See this whistle?
[Jenny nods "yes"]
Walter Eckland : Would you like to have it?
[She nods "yes" again]
Walter Eckland : OK. Now, all you have to do is repeat three simple words after me. Is that a deal?
[She nods "yes"]
Walter Eckland : Just repeat three words. All right. Elephant.
Jenny : [Looks from Eckland to the whistle and back. Seems to consider for a moment] Elephant.
Walter Eckland : [He smiles, slightly] Rhinoceros.
Jenny : [More quickly this time] Rhinoceros.
Walter Eckland : Wrong.
Jenny : Why?
Walter Eckland : No, not "why," "wrong." Wrong is the third word. You lose.
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Catherine Freneau : Look at their clothes.
Walter Eckland : They're my clothes.
Catherine Freneau : But they're filthy.
Walter Eckland : No, they're dirty, I'm filthy.
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Catherine Freneau : How in English do you say "parachute"?
Walter Eckland : Uh... Parachute.
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Walter Eckland : All those miles of open sea and back again, a man would need something to keep warm, now, wouldn't he?
Commander Frank Houghton RAN : Two bottles.
Walter Eckland : All of them, Frank.
Commander Frank Houghton RAN : Three.
Walter Eckland : All of them, Frank.
Commander Frank Houghton RAN : Five.
Walter Eckland : All of them, Frank.
Commander Frank Houghton RAN : Got a pencil?
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Catherine Freneau : I have an infuriating lack of talent for doing simple things.
Walter Eckland : You probably don't do them right, that's why.
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Lieutenant Stebbings RAN : I say, where are you going with those?
Walter Eckland : Do you know who I am?
Lieutenant Stebbings RAN : Well, no.
Walter Eckland : We'll let it go this time.
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Elizabeth Anderson : Mr. Eckland got Jenny to speak.
Walter Eckland : I created a monster. A talking person.
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Walter Eckland : Let me tell you I am not a father figure. I am not a brother figure or an uncle figure or a cousin figure. In fact, the only figure I intend being is a total stranger figure.
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Walter Eckland : Lady, you are making a powerful enemy.
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Catherine Freneau : [Jenny hands Walter a whiskey bottle] Jenny!
Walter Eckland : Why, how strange!
Jenny : What?
Walter Eckland : That you should bring me this.
Jenny : I've done it before.
Walter Eckland : No you haven't.
Jenny : Yes I have.
Walter Eckland : Shut up.
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Commander Frank Houghton RAN : There's a bit of paperwork to fill out, Walter. Who's the Maid of Honor?
Catherine Freneau : Umm, Elizabeth Anderson.
Commander Frank Houghton RAN : And the Best Man?
Walter Eckland : Uh, Harry MacGregor.
Commander Frank Houghton RAN : Harry?
Walter Eckland : Just believe me.
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Walter Eckland : Maybe if you stopped straightening pictures and let men wear their own pants, maybe they'd be able to touch you without asking "permesso!"
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Walter Eckland : [after Catherine threw the rifle in the water] No, no, no! Not that! We'd had a use for that!
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[Eckland has just discovered that there was no snake when Houghton, who believes Catherine is dead, is calling]
Commander Frank Houghton RAN : Walter? Are you there, Walter? I have the chaplain, I thought it might be a comfort if he said a few words.
Walter Eckland : Never mind the chaplain, Frank. She's alive. The snake's dead.
Commander Frank Houghton RAN : Walter, explain yourself.
[Eckland puts down the microphone]
Commander Frank Houghton RAN : Walter? Walter?
[shouting]
Commander Frank Houghton RAN : Walter!
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Walter Eckland : [after Frank's ship bashes a hole in Walter's boat to get him to go to Matalava] FRANK, HAVE YOU LOST YOUR MIND? LOOK AT MY BOAT!
Commander Frank Houghton RAN : [on a bullhorn, pleased with himself] Terribly sorry, Walter! Our steering must have jammed! I'm sorry!
Walter Eckland : IF YOU DIDN'T KNOW HOW TO WORK ONE OF THOSE THINGS, WHY DIDN'T YOU SAY SO?
Commander Frank Houghton RAN : I am sorry!
Walter Eckland : OH, STOP SAYING THAT! LOOK AT MY BOAT! WHAT AM I SUPPOSED TO DO NOW?
Commander Frank Houghton RAN : Become a Coast Watcher, I expect! Luckily, we put a little surprise ashore! Oh, Walter... we'll stand by until you get safely in!
Walter Eckland : FRANK, I'LL SUE YOU! I'LL SUE! I'LL SUE THE ENTIRE WAR!
Commander Frank Houghton RAN : Quite right, Walter! I'll be your witness!
[adding]
Commander Frank Houghton RAN : Oh, and Walter... Thanks for volunteering!
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Commander Frank Houghton RAN : [after explaining the Coast-watching service] It's ary important work, Walter. Damned important. You'd might like to volunteer.
Walter Eckland : Oh, I'd love to, Frank! But, I've just signer on for another watching service: the "Watch Out for Walter Eckland" Service!
Lieutenant Stebbings RAN : A great many lives are at stake, Mr. Eckland!
Walter Eckland : Now listen to me, both of you! Now, several years ago, I made peace with the World. Now, if the World isn't bright enough to make peace with ITSELF, it's just going to have to settle things without me!
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Commander Frank Houghton RAN : [Telling Walter the code-names to be used on the radio] I'm Big Bad Wolf, Stebbings here is Bo Peep, and you're...
Lieutenant Stebbings RAN : Mother Goose, Sir.
Commander Frank Houghton RAN : That's it. You're Mother Goose. Now try and remember all that, Walter. It's bloody important.
Walter Eckland : Yeah, bloody.
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Walter Eckland : [after bringing the girls back to the island, Mr. Eckland is sitting and eating while all the girls watch him] If you're waiting for the big finale, I'm sorry; this is all I do.
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[last lines]
Walter Eckland : I wonder if they serve coconut milk on submarines...
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Catherine Freneau : I'm a... a picture straightener.
Walter Eckland : You're a what?
Catherine Freneau : A picture straightener.
Walter Eckland : Oh.
Catherine Freneau : When I see a picture on a wall that doesn't hang straightly, I straighten it.
Walter Eckland : Oh, you do that.
Catherine Freneau : And I brush my teeth every morning and every night.
Catherine Freneau : And if I don't have a toothbrush...
Catherine Freneau : [Demonstrating] ... I use my finger.
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Catherine Freneau : Where is your boat?
Walter Eckland : [Indicating the dinghy] It's right there, lady. If you spit, you'd sink it.
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Walter Eckland : [grabs one of the girls' suitcases out of her hand and throws it in the water. Ms. Freneau begins to protest] This isn't the Queen Mary; we don't have room for luggage.
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Catherine Freneau : Mr. Eckland, please keep the boat quiet; the girls are extremely frightened.
Walter Eckland : Will you shut up, lady?
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Walter Eckland : [on the radio on his island] When do I get off?
Commander Frank Houghton RAN : I told you, as soon as we find a replacement for you. In the meantime, try to relax. Oh, and I'm very sorry about your boat. I really am.
Walter Eckland : Is Big Bad Wolf *really* sorry? Because if he is, Big Bad Wolf and Little Bo Peep can DO something for Mother Goose. THEY CAN GO...
[Stebbings cuts the radio off before any profanity goes through]
Commander Frank Houghton RAN : [to Stebbings] I don't really blame him, do you?
Lieutenant Stebbings RAN : Sir, I don't think we've accomplished anything. I don't think he'll report in. I mean, you can lead a horse to water, but can you make it drink?
Commander Frank Houghton RAN : [calmly] When he gets thirsty, he'll drink, Stebbings. He'll drink.
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Walter Eckland : So far you've shared me out of my clothes, my food and my house. Now, how about sharing some of my things with me?
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Walter Eckland : [to the French girls] You two get in the bottom of the boat.
[pause]
Walter Eckland : Get in the bottom of the boat!
Catherine Freneau : They don't understand English.
Walter Eckland : Sure they do.
[puts them in the boat]
Walter Eckland : See?
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Walter Eckland : Frank. Kiss my foot, Frank.
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Girl : We're sinking!
Walter Eckland : Well don't just sit there, dammit, start bailing!
Catherine Freneau : Mr. Eckland, your language!
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Walter Eckland : [about the Coast Watching Service] We've been friends for a long time. Do you really think you can talk me into it?
Commander Frank Houghton RAN : No, I suppose you're right. Stebbings, confiscate all the small craft on this pier.
Lieutenant Stebbings RAN : But this is the only one there is, Sir.
Commander Frank Houghton RAN : Confiscate it.
Lieutenant Stebbings RAN : Yes, sir.
Walter Eckland : Frank, you can't do that! I'll go over your head! Who's in charge here?
Lieutenant Stebbings RAN : He is!
Walter Eckland : Frank, you can't do that to me! That boat's all I have!
Commander Frank Houghton RAN : You said we've been friends for a long time, Walter. Do you really think you can talk me out of it?
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Anne : You stepped on my foot.
Walter Eckland : You put it under mine.
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Commander Frank Houghton RAN : Bride's full name?
Catherine Freneau : Catherine Louise Marie Ernestine Freneau.
Walter Eckland : [Gives Catherine a strange look] Eh!
Commander Frank Houghton RAN : Groom's full name?
Walter Eckland : Walter Christopher Eckland.