Mississippi (1935)

James Burke: Skeptical Passenger in Pilot House

Quotes 

• Commodore Jackson : My last encounter with the redskins was over thirty-five years ago. I was a mere stripling.

  Skeptical Passenger in pilot house : Is that so?

  [skeptically] 

  Commodore Jackson : I whipped out my revolver...

  Skeptical Passenger in pilot house : Revolvers weren't invented thirty-five years ago.

  [sneering] 

  Commodore Jackson : Uh... uh... I know that, but the Indians didn't know it. It doesn't matter - I threw it away.

  Female passenger : Oh, how exciting - please don't interrupt.

  Commodore Jackson : I had just swum the rapids. I had my canoe under one arm and a Rocky Mountain goat under the other.

  Skeptical Passenger in pilot house : How could you swim without the use of your arms?

  Commodore Jackson : Uh, uh... in those days I had, uh, I had very strong legs. Uh, excuse me

  [sheepishly doffs hat to woman] 

  Commodore Jackson : , very strong limbs.

  Female passenger : You must have been full of fire in your youth.

  Commodore Jackson : I had to carry fire insurance until I was over forty. As I arrived at the river bank, I was encountered by the entire tribe of the Shug Indians. The most ferocious... have you ever been to Shug country?

  Skeptical Passenger in pilot house : No, I haven't.

  [glaring at the Commodore] 

  Commodore Jackson : Uh, that's fine. I unsheathed my Bowie knife and

  [slowly and dramatically] 

  Commodore Jackson : cut a path through this wall of human flesh, dragging my canoe behind me.

  Female passenger : [collapsing]  Oh, oh, oh... oh.

  Commodore Jackson : Ah, I'm sorry. Perhaps I've gone too far.

  Skeptical Passenger in pilot house : What, what happened to the goat?

  [no trace of skepticism] 

  Commodore Jackson : He was very good with mustard.