Hands Across the Table (1935)
Fred MacMurray: Theodore Drew III
Photos
Quotes
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[Ted suggests temporarily becoming Regi's platonic roommate]
Regi Allen : Well, I'm not *that* unconventional.
Theodore Drew III : Aw, don't be old-fashioned. What are conventions anyway? Just a bunch of salesmen sitting around and telling stories.
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Theodore Drew III : Oh, father's living abroad. He has an amazing ability for borrowing money from practically total strangers. Unfortunately, that ability isn't hereditary.
Regi Allen : How could the Drews be broke?
Theodore Drew III : Well, do you remember that thing called the Crash?
Regi Allen : Yes.
Theodore Drew III : Well, that was us.
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Regi Allen : Do you dream?
Theodore Drew III : No.
Regi Allen : You should - you'd meet a better class of people.
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Theodore Drew III : [bumping into Regi while playing hopscotch] I'm sorry. I didn't know the lights were against me.
Regi Allen : It's alright.
[Regi looks at him puzzled]
Theodore Drew III : Hopscotch.
Regi Allen : Hopscotch?
Theodore Drew III : Mhmm. Indoor hopscotch. Not up to field and turf hopscotch, but hopscotch never the less.
[Ted hops more]
Theodore Drew III : Get the idea?
Regi Allen : Yes, I get the idea.
Theodore Drew III : Want to play?
Regi Allen : No thanks.
[Regi walks toward the elevator]
Theodore Drew III : Well, every man to his own sport.
[Ted keeps hopping, then stops and walks back toward the elevator too]
Theodore Drew III : You'll be sorry when I am champion!
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Theodore Drew III : Mother says I'm a throwback to my great-grandfather. He was a pirate.
Regi Allen : Honest?
Theodore Drew III : No, a pirate.
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Theodore Drew III : You know, you'd be very beautiful with blonde hair.
Regi Allen : I have blonde hair.
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Theodore Drew III : You're almost as good at this as my mother was.
Regi Allen : Was there anything else your mother did?
Theodore Drew III : Mm-hmm... Before she turned out the lights, she always used to kiss me good night.
Regi Allen : I'm only *almost* as good as your mother was.
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Regi Allen : Go on back to your pineapple queen.
Theodore Drew III : She's not my pineapple queen. I gave her away. I gave her back to the Hawaiians.
Regi Allen : What's the matter? Did you find somebody with more pineapples?
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Theodore Drew III : [Regi has just given him a manicure and drawn blood on a few of his fingers that are bandaged] Are you doing anything tonight? Would you mind feeding me? I'm... I'm afraid I'm going to have to have a nurse.
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Regi Allen : It was lovely of you, but taking taxis when you haven't any money is a little foolish, isn't it?
Theodore Drew III : Foolish? Why, I had to take a taxi. I couldn't go out in this pouring rain and get my only suit all wet, could I?
Regi Allen : Where's your overcoat?
Theodore Drew III : Ohhh, spending a little time in the pawnshop...
Regi Allen : Well, why did you pawn your overcoat?
Theodore Drew III : Why, to pay for the taxi, of course. Dope!
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Regi Allen : We're exactly alike.
Theodore Drew III : No, ha ha, oh no, your hair is much prettier than...
Regi Allen : We are! We're both trying to do the same thing: marry for money.
Theodore Drew III : Is that what you want to do?
Regi Allen : Mm-hmm.
Theodore Drew III : Oh, no, you're too nice for that.
Regi Allen : Well, I don't want to spend the rest of my life working in a barber shop.
Theodore Drew III : Well, but to go out in cold blood and deliberately marry somebody for money, that's no good.
Regi Allen : Well, what are you doing?
Theodore Drew III : Well... Well, it's different for me: I'm a heel!
Regi Allen : Well, did I ever say I wasn't one?
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Regi Allen : You must have a lot of friends that could give you a job.
Theodore Drew III : That'd be a fine friend who'd give you a job. No friend of mine had better try anything like that on me.
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Theodore Drew III : Stabbed in the cuticle; what a way to die.
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Regi Allen : I'm gunna tell my mother on you!
Theodore Drew III : Go on; I'll tell my father on you!
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Regi Allen : If when you get back, you care to call me up, I could give you my number. I mean I, I mean I could write it down for you, in case you've forgotten it.
Theodore Drew III : [drunkenly] Yes, do that. I would love to call you. You see, I get back on the eleventh. I can see you the twelfth. Oh, no, no, no. I'm getting married the twelfth. I can see you the next day, though. Aw, I suppose she'd want a honeymoon. They all want honeymoons. Slaves of fashion, that's what we are. The whole business is a vicious, a vicious, a vicious...
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Theodore Drew III : Holy smoke! I'm in Bermuda.
Regi Allen : Good. I'm in Greenland.
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Theodore Drew III : I can't sleep on a narrow bed.
Regi Allen : Oh, you can't?
Theodore Drew III : When I was home I always used to sleep on a great, big double bed.
Regi Allen : Well, what would you suggest?
Theodore Drew III : Well, I could suggest something; but, well, you won't get mad now, will ya?
Regi Allen : Well, what is it?
Theodore Drew III : Well, would you tuck me in?
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Theodore Drew III : You're almost as good at this as my mother was.
Regi Allen : Was there anything else, your mother did?
Theodore Drew III : Before she turned out the lights, she always used to kiss me good night.
Regi Allen : I'm only almost as good as your mother was.
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Allen Macklyn : She thinks you want to be a gigolo.
Theodore Drew III : A gigolo! Is that what she thinks of me? Fine opinion she's got of me.
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Theodore Drew III : Women are nuts.
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Theodore Drew III : [on the phone] Helro, please.
Regi Allen : Hello? Isn't this University - 4 - 2 - 2 - 5 - 9?
Theodore Drew III : A yes, but, eh, Missa Regi, eh, not being at home, please. Coming again, please? Oh, this is Missa Regi's Japanese boy.
Regi Allen : Well, isn't that just dandy. And when did Miss Allen get a Japanese boy?
Theodore Drew III : Eh, she, eh, winning him last evening in a very fine crap game.