- Kay 'Funny Face' Ellison: Two tickets to Niagara Falls, please.
- Train Teller: Oh. Congratulations, ma'am. What train?
- Kay 'Funny Face' Ellison: The 9:20, and I want to stop off at Ossining.
- Train Teller: Ossining? You mean, Sing-Sing?
- Kay 'Funny Face' Ellison: No, I mean Ossining.
- Welch: Well, hello Kay! Here you are, here's a seat for you.
- Kay 'Funny Face' Ellison: The further I sit from you, Mr. Welch, the better I like it.
- [to Porter]
- Kay 'Funny Face' Ellison: Take those bags into the next car, please.
- Porter: Sorry, Miss. The train's full up today.
- Welch: Here you are, Kay. Sit right down here.
- [Kay drops train tickets, and Welch picks them up]
- Welch: Two tickets to Niagara Falls, eh? How romantic. That's where honeymooners go. Oh, yes. Eddie Ellison gets out today. Say, you're not really gonna marry that guy, are you?
- Kay 'Funny Face' Ellison: Any objection?
- Welch: Say, listen, kid. I like you. I want to give you a little friendly advice.
- Kay 'Funny Face' Ellison: [scoffs] Friendly advice. Well, that's good, coming from the fellow that caused Eddie's conviction.
- Welch: Now take it easy, Kay. I'm telling you that I'm your friend. More than a friend.
- Kay 'Funny Face' Ellison: Yes, you tried to be more than a friend, ever since you had Eddie arrested.
- Welch: Now, don't be that way. You're a nice girl, and you're about to make the mistake of your life.
- Kay 'Funny Face' Ellison: That's my business.
- Welch: You're a nice girl and you're about to make the biggest mistake of your life.
- Kay 'Funny Face' Ellison: That's my business.
- Larry Scott: Sure it is, and don't let him tell you any different!
- Kay 'Funny Face' Ellison: We're not going back to the city, Eddie. I've got a big surprise.
- Eddie Ellison: What is this, a practical joke?
- Kay 'Funny Face' Ellison: It's no joke, but boy it's practical. We're going to Niagra Falls.
- Eddie Ellison: You mean, right now? From here?
- Kay 'Funny Face' Ellison: The train leaves in half an hour.
- Eddie Ellison: Gee, you're swell and I'm the luckiest man in the world.
- Kay 'Funny Face' Ellison: Luck had nothing to do with it. You couldn't get away from me if you tried.
- Eddie Ellison: I tried to hide from you in prison and it was hopeless.
- Eddie Ellison: Well, if it isn't my old pal Welch, big as life and twice as natural.
- Larry Scott: He's still got it in for you! He's been giving the one-two the whole way up here, trying to promote himself.
- Welch: I was just trying to give Kay here a little friendly advice. I know a lot more about crooks than she does.
- Larry Scott: Why, you!
- [he tries to punch Welch, but Larry stops him]
- Larry Scott: If you slug him, you'll get in trouble. You're on your way out. Keep going. I'm on my way in. I got nothing to lose.
- [he punches Welch]
- Kay 'Funny Face' Ellison: Did you tell her about her present?
- Eddie Ellison: Who, me? Gee, won't she look cute in that?
- Jane Scott: Oh, it's darling.
- Kay 'Funny Face' Ellison: It cost an awful lot.
- Eddie Ellison: It's for Shirley, isn't it? She only has a birthday once a year.
- Kay 'Funny Face' Ellison: Every day is her birthday with you.
- Eddie Ellison: Well, why shouldn't it be? Say, here's another littl gadget I bought for Shirley.
- Larry Scott: What is it?
- Eddie Ellison: Take a look.
- [He hands Larry a small telescope. When Larry looks into it, it leaves a black ring around his eye]
- Larry Scott: I don't see anything.
- Eddie Ellison: No, but we do!
- Kay 'Funny Face' Ellison: Oh, Eddie, you and your tricks. You're not going to give that to the baby. You're making her as bad as you are.
- Kay 'Funny Face' Ellison: Sleeping sickness, get up.
- Eddie Ellison: What time is it?
- Kay 'Funny Face' Ellison: What time do you want? It's time for you to get out of that bed.
- Eddie Ellison: I wasn't sleeping, I was thinking.
- Kay 'Funny Face' Ellison: Get up! Your breakfast will be spoiled!
- [She hits him]
- Eddie Ellison: Ow! Hey, what are you doing?
- Larry Scott: Top of the morning to you.
- Kay 'Funny Face' Ellison: And the heat of the evening to you.
- Kay 'Funny Face' Ellison: Sit down and have some coffee.
- Larry Scott: Aren't you going to wait for Eddie?
- Kay 'Funny Face' Ellison: I should wait and eat a cold breakfast? Not for any husband. Sometimes I get so mad I could give him poison.
- Eddie Ellison: And sometimes I get so mad I could take it. What do you know about that?
- Larry Scott: To hear you two in the morning, you'd think you were ready to jump at each other's throats.
- Kay 'Funny Face' Ellison: In the morning? What about the rest of the day?
- Larry Scott: Well, I just hope Jane and me get along as well as you two.
- Kay 'Funny Face' Ellison: Eddie, Larry and Jane got engaged last night!
- Eddie Ellison: Well, I don't see why a fine girl like Jane would want to marry a mug like you.
- Trigger Stone: So you're Eddie Ellison's kid.
- Shirley Ellison: I'm not a kid, I'm a girl, and today is my birthday.
- Larry Scott: Sometimes I wonder if going straight really pays.
- Eddie Ellison: Hey, cut out that kind of talk, will you?
- Larry Scott: But what will Jane think?
- Eddie Ellison: She's a hundred percent for you. She wouldn't think anything bad about you any more than Kay would me. We won't tell them anything tonight, though.
- Larry Scott: Why not?
- Eddie Ellison: I don't want anything to spoil Shirley's birthday party!
- Shirley Ellison: I want to thank you all for my presents. Thank you very, very much. And I hope that someday when it's your birthday, I can give them all back to you.
- Warden: Eddie, when you were admitted here, I gave you a choice of two roads to take. You took the right one, and it got four months off your stretch for you. Now, will you let me advise you again?
- Eddie Ellison: Certainly, sir.
- Warden: Something kept up your morale while you were up here.
- Eddie Ellison: You're a good guesser, Warden.
- Warden: Well, whatever it was, stick to it outside. Have you got a job waiting for you?
- Eddie Ellison: The biggest and best job a man ever had.
- Warden: Good wages?
- Eddie Ellison: Not a cent.
- Warden: Well, but how - ?
- Eddie Ellison: I've had a girl waiting for me for eighteen months.
- Warden: Congratulations, my boy. The very best of luck.
- Eddie Ellison: Well, if it isn't my old pal, Welch. As big as life and twice as natural.
- Larry Scott: He's no pal of yours, fella. He's still got it in for you.
- Eddie Ellison: What do you mean?
- Larry Scott: He's been throwing hooks into you all the way up on the train. Trying to promote himself.
- Welch: Yeah. I was just trying to give her a little friendly advice, that's all. I happen to know a lot more about crooks than she does.
- Eddie Ellison: Why, you -
- [moves as if to hit Welch]
- Kay 'Funny Face' Ellison: [restraining him] Eddie, Eddie!
- Larry Scott: If you sock him, you'll get into trouble. You're on the way out. Keep going. I'm on the way in, so I've got nothing to lose.
- [punches Welch in the nose]
- Eddie Ellison: Thanks, fella. I'll be seeing you when you get out.
- Larry Scott: Good luck. I wish I could be your best man.
- Shirley Ellison: Daddy, come here. Tell me what you bought me for a birthday present.
- Eddie Ellison: Oh, no. That's a secret.
- Shirley Ellison: Will you tell me if I guess?
- Eddie Ellison: Well, maybe.
- Shirley Ellison: A pair of roller skates?
- Eddie Ellison: No.
- Shirley Ellison: A dollhouse?
- Eddie Ellison: No.
- Shirley Ellison: Aw, Daddy. If you tell me, I'll tell you what I'm going to get you for your birthday.
- Eddie Ellison: Oh, no. I want to be surprised.
- Shirley Ellison: Will you tell me for a kiss?
- Eddie Ellison: Well, that's awful tempting, but...
- Shirley Ellison: I'll bet I know, a ballet dress.
- Eddie Ellison: A ballet dress. Now, what made you think of that?
- Shirley Ellison: Cause that's what I want most.
- Eddie Ellison: Come on, now, you little g-nomey, you've gotta go to sleep. Go on.
- Shirley Ellison: [singsong] I'm gonna get a ballet dress. I'm gonna get a ballet dress.
- Eddie Ellison: [singsong] Don't tell Mommy I told you.
- Shirley Ellison: [singsong] I won't.
- Larry Scott: Say, how 'bout going to the movies with us tonight?
- Kay 'Funny Face' Ellison: Oh, thanks, but we can't leave Shirley.
- Larry Scott: They're showing 10,000 years in Sing-Sing at the Cameo.
- Eddie Ellison: Gee, what a long stretch!
- Jane Scott: They say it's awful funny.
- Eddie Ellison: Not for my dough.
- Larry Scott: Well, come on, Jane. We'll be late.
- Eddie Ellison: Say, Larry, what's your hurry? If you miss three or four years, it don't make any difference.
- Kay 'Funny Face' Ellison: Have a good time.
- Larry Scott: Thanks. Sorry you won't come with us. So long.
- Kay 'Funny Face' Ellison, Eddie Ellison, Jane Scott: Good-bye.
- Eddie Ellison: Oh. Hey, Larry.
- Larry Scott: Yeah?
- Eddie Ellison: We've got to be on the job early in the morning. Stop by for me, and we'll dunk a couple of doughnuts.
- Larry Scott: Right.
- Eddie Ellison: And say, let me know what the guy did to get 10,000 years.
- Kay 'Funny Face' Ellison: What's happened?
- Eddie Ellison: Well, the breadwinners have stopped winning.
- Larry Scott: Yeah, looks like we're in for a little vacation.
- Jane Scott: You mean you were discharged.
- Eddie Ellison: Well, not exactly. We were canned.
- Kay 'Funny Face' Ellison: But they can't let you off for nothing.
- Eddie Ellison: No. I know they can't. But they did. Welch saw to that.
- Jane Scott: Who's Welch?
- Larry Scott: Well, he's an old friend of ours.
- Kay 'Funny Face' Ellison: Will you excuse us for a minute? I want to talk to Eddie alone.
- [Eddie and Kay go into the next room]
- Kay 'Funny Face' Ellison: Now listen, Eddie. When we were married we said we'd go 50-50 on everything, didn't we?
- Eddie Ellison: Uh-huh.
- Kay 'Funny Face' Ellison: Well, that meant joy and trouble, too. You always let me in on the joy, now. Why not the trouble?
- Eddie Ellison: There's nothing more to tell.
- Kay 'Funny Face' Ellison: Eddie, look at me. Did Larry have anything to do with this?
- Eddie Ellison: No.
- Kay 'Funny Face' Ellison: Well, then. We haven't a thing to worry about.
- Welch: [Welch is searching Eddie's apartment for a stolen pearl necklace] What kind of a sap do you think I am?
- Eddie Ellison: I don't know. What kind of a sap are you?
- Welch: Now, let's see. If I was in your spot, I wonder where I'd hide that necklace.
- Eddie Ellison: Let me see. Maybe you'd swallow it.
- Larry Scott: I read in Popular Mechanics where Zulus hide jewels by sewing them under their skin.
- Eddie Ellison: That'd be all right if we were Zulus.
- Shirley Ellison: [Trigger Stone is lying tied up on the floor] Hey, mister, your beads were lost, but I found them.
- Trigger Stone: That's fine. You're a smart little girl. Now, go on, cut me loose.
- Shirley Ellison: Are you playing the game, too?
- Trigger Stone: Of course I am. Your old man tied me up so I couldn't peek. Let's you and me fool him.
- Shirley Ellison: Do you think that would be fair?
- Trigger Stone: Why, sure, it would. It'll be a big joke. We'll all bust laughing. Now, go on. Get something, and cut me loose.
- Trigger Stone: Won't your dad be surprised when he finds out I'm gone.
- Shirley Ellison: You said he'd bust laughing.