Bacon was perfect until the past decade, when some foodie marketer decided it should be trendy and our enthusiasm for it overtook all rational thought. And then manufacturers began to add bacon to beer and toothpaste and condoms and vodka, and suddenly there was a chocolate bacon cheesecake, which I actually paid cold hard cash for last month, and when I took one bite, I thought, okay, that's it, we're all going to hell. Bacon, poor bacon, is proof that if you love something you must set it free - that is, before you add it to chocolate cheesecake.